**Shab-e-Gham – Ek Raat Ki Aag Mein Doob Gaye Ishq**
Mera naam Zameer Afzal hai, 30 saal ka hoon, aur main apni taqdeer se badi mushkil se jhel raha hoon. Yeh dastan uski hai jo zindagi ka saath chhod gayi, aur uski jo zindagi ka saath banne ko taras rahi hai. Main Lucknow ke ek ameer parivar ka ek akeela waris hoon, jo apne bade pita ke jaane ke baad saari riyaasat aur bhookh-nalak dono apne sir le kar baitha hoon. Mere hath mehone ka raaz chhupa hai, par mere dil mein ikraar ki bhookh hai.
Meri biwi Mehak, shaadi ke ek saal baad hi ek hadse mein mar gayi thi. Uske jaane ke baad main kaanp-kaanp reh gaya hoon. Main raat ko palace ke taaron mein akeeli rota hoon, aur din mein kagazon ko kaant raha hoon. Meri zindagi mein ek hi roshni hai, ek shama, jiski roshni ab dhal rahi hai. Ek din pichhle hafte, ek phone aaya. Ek naajuk awaaz, jisko main pehchana hi nahi sakta tha.
“Zameer saheb, main Ayesha bolti hoon,” awaaz ne kaha.
Meri jaan se jaan nikal gayi. Ayesha, Mehak ki chhoti behen, jo shaadi ke baad apne shauhar ke ghar Chandigarh chali gayi thi, par uski zindagi bhi Mehak ki tarah toot chuki thi. Usne bataya ki uski shadi ki raat hi uske shauhar ne usse thook kar bahar nikal diya tha, aur uske maalik ne use khidmat ke liye rakha hua tha. Wo raat ki raat ro rahi thi.
“Zameer saheb, aap hi meri akhri aas ho. Agar aap na bachaoge toh main mar jaungi,” awaaz kaanti rahi thi.
Maine kaha, “Chup kar. Subah 8 baje Lucknow Cantt station par aana.”
Us raat main soya nahi. Maine apne manager se kaha ki ek nayi naukrani ka intezaam karna hai, par usme wo gehri gehraai nahi jo mere dil mein thi. Subah main apni black Mercedes liya aur station pahuncha. Waqt saali ka theher na theheri thi. Main dekha ki ek aadhi laash ki tarah khadi hai, jiske maathe pe woh purane yaadon ki mohar thi. Usne pallo kar chehra chhupa rakha tha.
Maine gaadi se uske paas gaya aur darwaza khola. Uske chehre pe koi raat ki thakaan nahi, par gehri daar thi, jaise jaan hi le le. Maine kaha, “Chalo ghar.”
Ghar jaate hi maine use kaha, “Aapke liye ek alaga room ban gaya hai, aap wahan reh sakti hain.” Par us raat use shayad nind nahi aane wali thi. Main raat ko khaana khaak kar library mein jaane laga, tabhi wo aayi.
“Zameer bhaijaan, aapko akele rehte waqta kuchh yaad aata hai?” usne dheere se pucha.
Meri aankhein geeli ho gayi. “Mehak ki yaad,” maine kaha.
Wo paas aa gayi aur mere kandhe par haath rakh kar boli, “Woh mujhse bhi jaada pyaari thi, aapko yaad hai uske gujjhe kaise lagte the? Uske haathon mehndi ki khushboo…”
Mere hosh ura rahe the. Maine use bahut qareeb se dekha. Uski aankhon mein doobti hui aag thi. Maine dheere se uska pallu hataya. Uske gardan par zanzeer jaisi bani thi jisme har qadam par ek kahani thi. Maine uske haath apne haathon mein liye, thandak se ki maano woh toot na jaaye.
“Raat ko dar lagta hai, Zameer bhaijaan,” usne kaha.
Maine use kamar se pakad kar utha liya aur bedroom mein le gaya. Uske aankhon se paani nikal raha tha, par uski aankhon mein ek ajeeb si bhookh bhi thi, jise main jaanta tha.
“Zameer,” usne dheere se kaha, “Aaj meri khushi tumhare haanth mein hai, meri izzat bhi tumhare haanth mein hai. Jo karna hai kar do, par is raat ko bas khushi do.”
Maine uske aankhon mein dekha, yeh maang khushi ki thi ya rehaai ki. Maine uske gale se ek hira ki haar utari aur uske gaalon par lagai. Wo phir ro padi. Maine uska chehra uthaya aur uski aankhon se aansu ponchhe.
“Chup, aaj aansoon nahi, aaj zindagi jeeni hai,” maine kaha aur uske honthon par apne honth rakh diye.
Hamari saans mein ek saath tha, hamari dhadkan mein ik dil, hamari raat mein ek ishq. Uska badan ek ajeeb si thandak se kaap raha tha, par uski chahat ek aag si jalta raha tha. Maine dheere se uska lahenga utara, ek uss waqt uski aankhon mein dekha jaise woh apni zindagi ke sabse bare faisle par khadi thi. Uski nangi jangh meri jaangh se takrake ek nayi shururat kar rahi thi.
Maine ek ghanta tak sirf use dekha, uski har saans, uske har raqs-e-jisman ko dekha. Wo naakhees tha, par uske chehre par ek hi baat likhi thi – zindagi jeeni hai. Maine uski chuchiyan choosne shuru ki, uske kadak nipples apni jeebh se ghisaye, uske badan ki har ghati mein apni pyaar ki neel chhod di. Wo siskariyan bhar rahi thi, par uski har siskari ek shikayat nahi, ek daavat thi.
“Zameer, aur andar, aur andar tak aao,” usne kaha.
Maine apna lund uski chut mein daala. Ek dhakka diya, doosra. Thoda dard hoga, shayad wo pehli baar thi. Maine dheere dheere jhatke lagaye. Uska badan ek nazuk se saaz ki tarah doob raha tha, lekin wo saaz ek naya sur nikal raha tha.
Wo jhadne wali thi. “Mujhe nahi chhodna Zameer,” usne kaha. “Is raat ko hamara hona hai, raat ki tarah hi andheri, lekin ek andheri jo subah ka garmi lekar aaye.”
Maine tezi se dhakke lagaye, aur pura saara maal uske andar hi chhod diya. Hum dono thak kar bed par lete rahe. Raat ki shanti mein koi baat nahi hui.
Subah jab maine aankhein kholi, toh Ayesha ne paani pe rakha tha aur baithi royi ja rahi thi. Maine pucha, “Kya hua?”
Usne kaha, “Ab main aapse shaadi kar nahi sakti, aapki biwi ban nahi sakti. Lekin aapne jo khushi di hai, woh ek zindagi ka saath degi. Meri jaan aapke liye hai, lekin meri izzat nahi.”
Maine use apni baahon mein liya aur kaha, “Yeh baat main samajh gaya. Main aapse shaadi nahi karunga. Lekin aap is ghar ki raani ho, aur is raat ki yaad humesha rahegi.”
Yeh raat aaj bhi meri yaadon mein hai. Ayesha ab meri zindagi mein hai, meri hifaazat mein hai, par woh meri biwi nahi ban sakti. Wo meri khawaish hai, jo shab-e-gham ki tarah mer
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